THE RETURN OF THE HIT COUNTER!

So its not that big of a deal! It's only a hit counter, right? Wrong! And you've never been this wrong about anything in your whole existence as a homosapien, walking on this big round rock, the experts like to call earth!

This is a great day for blogging. In one foul swoop we fixed the comments and hit counter part of the blog. And by "we" I mean the Taiwanese super genius guy in my office - Ivan Huang.
So thanks to Ivan the site is back in full swing. Ready to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge! No wait wrong quote.

Anyway, feel free to leave some comments on our pimptastic blog!

Deciphering the Male Language.

A good Monday..err Tuesday morning (or whats left of it) to you all.

Before we go on, I just need to say:"Damn I love long weekends." It's da bomb, da shizle...It's mantastic!
Ok, ok. I know things got a little out of hand there, but hey. Who doesn't get a little crazy when they get time off work FOR FREE!?!
But speaking of Mantastic. Read the below post and maybe pass it on to your lady-friend, wife, prostitute or sister. I think it will help with a lot of nasty relationship issues that have become common amung couples. Just call me Dr. Phil - NOT!

So read the post and spread the disease... I mean word!

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated:* "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'STAR WARS', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, ... but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Translated:* "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated:* "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated:* "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated:* "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated:* "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

Cleavage of the week

I know we have been lacking in the post department lately, but thats what happens when your soul is destroyed by the vicious monster I like to call the IT career. When one's sould dies all inspiration dies with it - at least one can still get a phat one in one's pants without a soul. As long as I have a throbbing desire for phat cleavage you can always rely on the Phat's Cleavage Of The Week (COTW) to be there.

To make up for the lack of posts lately today's COTW is a very speacial one. Whats better than COTW? Two chicks at the same time...with big cleavage.

And since its Easter we decided to be extra generous.

Check out the full Leandra Morastoni bunny video here.

Ken and Rob : Batman

Hey, "Not one single post this week" I hear you say.

We know, it's terrible and totally unacceptable. In fact its so wrong that someone should be kicked in the balls - twice! Just as long as its not my big blue balls, you can go ahead and kick all you want.

You know, running a blog is not easy as it sounds. We'll it is actually. But for some reason we couldn't get our dirty hands on some good content. Blame it on the corporate rat race, global warming or Jacob Zuma...Or it may be due to the fact that we just didn't bother looking. Whatever the reason, I assure you this : WE'RE NOT LAZY. WE'RE JUST WELL HUNG!

Here's some K&R that you may copy and send around and round like a record baby!

National Cleavage Day

What a coincidence that national Cleavage Day falls on the same day as the Phat's Cleavage Of The Week. Coincidence or conspiracy...? Hmm... No matter, I'll be sure to be prowling the streets of Sandton and Rosebank today spending my valuable work hours pervving over the abundance of boobs on display.

Last years cleavage day went by without even a nip being spotted - what a shame. This year's cleavage day better not dissapoint, I've got my camera phone ready. Oh sh'yeah! Until then we'll just have to make do with the collection of fantastic cleavages provided below.





Joanna Krupa




Rita




Carmen Electra




Lucy Clarkson



Laetitia Casta



Eva Longoria



The Miller girls



Victoria Silverstedt


So much of boob! I love it!

Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction

It's been fourteen years since we first saw the lovely (and still oh so fine) Sharon Stone in what's probably the most recognisable and controversial movie scene ever. Yes you know where I'm heading with this. The infamous leg crossing scene of Sharon Stone.
I was nine years old at that stage and I think that's when I first asked the question that all parent's fear... Dad: "When am I going to have sex with Sharon Stone?"

Ok, I didn't really ask my dad that question, but every warm blooded male on the face of the God's green earth has asked himself that question at least once. There's no doubt in my half baked mind about it!

And now she's back as Novelist Catherine Tramell who is once again caught up in the long arm of the law. This time around she is evaluated by Scotland Yard's psychiatrist Dr. Michael Glass (played by David Morrissey).

But even our intelligent Dr. Glass can't withstand the incredibly sexy Tramell and (like all of us probably would be) is entranced by her and soon finds himself spanking the monkey...uuhh i mean ensnared in a seductive cat-and- mouse game.


To put it in a nutshell:
I hate sequels, but I can't wait for this movie to be released, so I can see Stone getting her freak on!

%#@%@#`

Hi Yes, I know there is something up with the comments. I'm working on it. Here's a cute picture while-u-wait.


ps: I'd totally take Kim Smith out for ice cream.

New Skin

Good things come to those who wait.
Bad things come to those who are impatient, Greek and whose name starts with "G".

The new layout. There you go.
Finger in your eye. Almost 100%.

Oh yeah.

Totally pissed off!

I'm so angry right now, I can bite someone's ear off!

There are few things in this world that piss me off as much a free loader. Yes a free loader. The type of person that's like a blood sucking, bacteria infested, parasitical leech. They just latch on to you in hope that they can get some sort of freebie, or in a better sense of the word - steal your shit!

Stealing : Taking something from a person and making it your own without their permission or consent, or maybe I should use bigger words like "acquiescence" so no one will steel it from me.

I don't even know how in the hell to pronounce "acquiescence" but I know for sure that it wont appear anywhere else in the same context as in this post!

What in the name of free porn and cheap beer is it with people! Why cant they just leave other people's shit alone? If you see something that someone has, work to get your own or work harder to get something better.

Wait. An even better idea is if you actually give the person you stole stuff from a bit of credit. Maybe just to say you stole it from someone that actually has more than HALF A GOD DAMN BRAIN CELL!!!!

Ps. Apart from stealing being wrong. Its totally GAY!!!

Cleavage of the week

Its that time of the week again!
The fine lady on exhibit today is the cleavagely well-hung Samantha Steele. I dont who she is or what she does but I appreciate her contribution to humanity.

Wait...she's a porno star. yes.