Somebody light a match in here!!!!

The office vegetarian has come down with an almost fatal case of *bubbleguts. If you work in an office you'll know that this is probably the worst thing that can happen in a workplace where there's a communal bathroom.

This fucking guy has been taking dumps like a grizzly bear with irritable bowel syndrome! Running to the shitter every 5mintues while holding his stomach and clinching his butt cheeks for fear of shitting himself. I think he must've lost about 4 kg's in the last 2 hours, all that while working up a stench like a sewerage farm.

He just farted in the office and Holy Shit!!!!! That shits burning my eyes! I went outside to get some fresh air and everyone wanted to know why is was crying. Still struggling to get my breath I explained to them that I wasn't crying because I was sad but because it felt like I finely chopped 10 onions and rubbed it in my eyes.

I'm sitting at my desk and I'm afraid that if I open my mouth that the atrocious stench will stick to my taste buds... damn soya beans.

The worst of all his that he doesn't want to go home! he is trying to pull the "I'm a dedicated worker through thick and thin" card.

I hate that guy!!!


*bubbleguts : when the only thing coming out of your anus is liquid shit and air, creating a bubble effect when farting