Cleavage of the week

I was never a huge fan of superman and I always thought Smallville was a gay show. I watched this clip from the show the other day and i was immediately hooked! This, ladies and gentlemen, is Lois Lane played by the cleavage-alicious Erica Durance. Three words pop to my mind when watching those jublees jiggle - "Oh...my...God."

I think they are fake, I want to touch them, and play with them, and squeeze them, and draw little whiskers around the areola and name them Miss Lefty and Miss Righty. Yup, thats weird. I like the smell of paper.

Regardless of the ample breastage Erica has to offer I still think superman enjoys man love, but she makes Smallville a little more bearable, as long as she flaunts what her Mama gave her.

Check out more pics from the famous red bikini clip here.

Have you seen this man?

Please help us find our lost friend Good Apollo.

He doesn't phone, he doesn't write, he doesn't blog. Damn, he doesn't even send flowers anymore. I, PhatBoi personally think that he's been kidnapped, or he just might have run away with a possy of rogue super models.
Either way, I'll offer 1 gazillion million pd (phatdollars) to anyone who can supply us with any where-abouts of Good Apollo(Terms and conditions apply).

Good Apollo! If you're reading this, please come back. We still sort of love you man.

ps. There are no terms and conditions.
pss. 1 gazillion million pd is about the equavilent of 1c (south african currency).
psss. Why the hell are you still reading this?

Potatoes for all!

Potato gunman convicted

"Stockholm - A man in central Sweden was convicted of shooting potatoes from an apartment window with a home-made gun, Swedish press reported."

Now this is what I call food for thought. What better use for potatoes than shooting them at innocent targets... i mean poeple from your flat/apartment window. Its freakin genius.

In August 2005, inspired by seeing a potato thrower on television, the 25-year-old man bought parts for the gun in a local supermarket, Soedra Dalarnes Tidning wrote.

The man and a group of friends met in a flat in Bojsenburg, in the heart of Sweden, loaded the weapon with potatoes and began firing from the balcony into the car park below, reported the paper.

Authorities confiscated his gun as well as two sacks of potatoes found in the apartment.
Police tests showed the tuber cannon had a more potent firing power than a revolver.

More firing power than a revolver! Is it just me or are we looking at the evolution of the rubber bullet? A new kind of weapon to dispers riots and protesting hippies or Jacob Zuma followers.

Just think about the amount of money a country like ours could save with an invenetion like this.

I mean we'll be able to stop riots and feed the poor at the same time. Even better, is the fact that you can build the gun yourself. By golly! I think i'll pop down to my local Pick 'n Pay and go build myself one of these tuber cannons.

story courtesy of news24.com

The coolest t-shirt ever. Plus 2!

This has to be the coolest goddamn T-shirt ever. Goddammit!

Pic courtesey of attu

Cleavage of the week

I'd like to introduce to all our loyal readers Phatboi's sister, Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum, I'd like you to meet our loyal readers. Now that the introduction is over its time to stare at the cleavage until my eyes bleed - red tears of joy as i like to call them. Fantatsic!

Its a little know fact that Heide is related to our very own Phatboi. Now i've never met her, and I've never seen her at his home, and i've never seen any photos of her with him in them (except for the ones where he paste's his face over Seal's body) but if Phatboi says Heidi Klum is his sister, then Heidi Klum is his sister. Whatever, I won't judge his sense of relation, he is free to claim random celebrities as part of his family if he wants to. It is a little perverse but I'm not one to judge.

No matter, delusional Afrikaans boi fantasies or not, I do know this for a fact though - she has the finest set of cleavage this side of Holland.

Roadtrippin'

So I've been quiet over the last week or 2, not posting and generally treating the blog like I would treat a stepson or GeO.. but I have been working like the bastard child that GeO is and letting my creativity out in other places (no, not GeO's mom, you sick bastards).

Last week Thursday I had the pleasure of playing the Roxy in Melville with the one and only Pestroy (Pestroy on myspace) and on Friday morning I hopped in the car to drive to Oppikoppi to play a show at 18:00.

Yeah, that's about it. I have to go tend to a server now. It's sick. I might just put it down.

Ps: If anyone reading this is a Jagermeister rep, sir/ma'am, my band drinks enough of your product to justify an endorsement deal.

No really.
Don't make me post pictures.

THE RETURN OF THE HIT COUNTER!

So its not that big of a deal! It's only a hit counter, right? Wrong! And you've never been this wrong about anything in your whole existence as a homosapien, walking on this big round rock, the experts like to call earth!

This is a great day for blogging. In one foul swoop we fixed the comments and hit counter part of the blog. And by "we" I mean the Taiwanese super genius guy in my office - Ivan Huang.
So thanks to Ivan the site is back in full swing. Ready to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge! No wait wrong quote.

Anyway, feel free to leave some comments on our pimptastic blog!

Deciphering the Male Language.

A good Monday..err Tuesday morning (or whats left of it) to you all.

Before we go on, I just need to say:"Damn I love long weekends." It's da bomb, da shizle...It's mantastic!
Ok, ok. I know things got a little out of hand there, but hey. Who doesn't get a little crazy when they get time off work FOR FREE!?!
But speaking of Mantastic. Read the below post and maybe pass it on to your lady-friend, wife, prostitute or sister. I think it will help with a lot of nasty relationship issues that have become common amung couples. Just call me Dr. Phil - NOT!

So read the post and spread the disease... I mean word!

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated:* "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'STAR WARS', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, ... but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Translated:* "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated:* "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated:* "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated:* "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated:* "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

Cleavage of the week

I know we have been lacking in the post department lately, but thats what happens when your soul is destroyed by the vicious monster I like to call the IT career. When one's sould dies all inspiration dies with it - at least one can still get a phat one in one's pants without a soul. As long as I have a throbbing desire for phat cleavage you can always rely on the Phat's Cleavage Of The Week (COTW) to be there.

To make up for the lack of posts lately today's COTW is a very speacial one. Whats better than COTW? Two chicks at the same time...with big cleavage.

And since its Easter we decided to be extra generous.

Check out the full Leandra Morastoni bunny video here.

Ken and Rob : Batman

Hey, "Not one single post this week" I hear you say.

We know, it's terrible and totally unacceptable. In fact its so wrong that someone should be kicked in the balls - twice! Just as long as its not my big blue balls, you can go ahead and kick all you want.

You know, running a blog is not easy as it sounds. We'll it is actually. But for some reason we couldn't get our dirty hands on some good content. Blame it on the corporate rat race, global warming or Jacob Zuma...Or it may be due to the fact that we just didn't bother looking. Whatever the reason, I assure you this : WE'RE NOT LAZY. WE'RE JUST WELL HUNG!

Here's some K&R that you may copy and send around and round like a record baby!

National Cleavage Day

What a coincidence that national Cleavage Day falls on the same day as the Phat's Cleavage Of The Week. Coincidence or conspiracy...? Hmm... No matter, I'll be sure to be prowling the streets of Sandton and Rosebank today spending my valuable work hours pervving over the abundance of boobs on display.

Last years cleavage day went by without even a nip being spotted - what a shame. This year's cleavage day better not dissapoint, I've got my camera phone ready. Oh sh'yeah! Until then we'll just have to make do with the collection of fantastic cleavages provided below.





Joanna Krupa




Rita




Carmen Electra




Lucy Clarkson



Laetitia Casta



Eva Longoria



The Miller girls



Victoria Silverstedt


So much of boob! I love it!

Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction

It's been fourteen years since we first saw the lovely (and still oh so fine) Sharon Stone in what's probably the most recognisable and controversial movie scene ever. Yes you know where I'm heading with this. The infamous leg crossing scene of Sharon Stone.
I was nine years old at that stage and I think that's when I first asked the question that all parent's fear... Dad: "When am I going to have sex with Sharon Stone?"

Ok, I didn't really ask my dad that question, but every warm blooded male on the face of the God's green earth has asked himself that question at least once. There's no doubt in my half baked mind about it!

And now she's back as Novelist Catherine Tramell who is once again caught up in the long arm of the law. This time around she is evaluated by Scotland Yard's psychiatrist Dr. Michael Glass (played by David Morrissey).

But even our intelligent Dr. Glass can't withstand the incredibly sexy Tramell and (like all of us probably would be) is entranced by her and soon finds himself spanking the monkey...uuhh i mean ensnared in a seductive cat-and- mouse game.


To put it in a nutshell:
I hate sequels, but I can't wait for this movie to be released, so I can see Stone getting her freak on!

%#@%@#`

Hi Yes, I know there is something up with the comments. I'm working on it. Here's a cute picture while-u-wait.


ps: I'd totally take Kim Smith out for ice cream.

New Skin

Good things come to those who wait.
Bad things come to those who are impatient, Greek and whose name starts with "G".

The new layout. There you go.
Finger in your eye. Almost 100%.

Oh yeah.

Totally pissed off!

I'm so angry right now, I can bite someone's ear off!

There are few things in this world that piss me off as much a free loader. Yes a free loader. The type of person that's like a blood sucking, bacteria infested, parasitical leech. They just latch on to you in hope that they can get some sort of freebie, or in a better sense of the word - steal your shit!

Stealing : Taking something from a person and making it your own without their permission or consent, or maybe I should use bigger words like "acquiescence" so no one will steel it from me.

I don't even know how in the hell to pronounce "acquiescence" but I know for sure that it wont appear anywhere else in the same context as in this post!

What in the name of free porn and cheap beer is it with people! Why cant they just leave other people's shit alone? If you see something that someone has, work to get your own or work harder to get something better.

Wait. An even better idea is if you actually give the person you stole stuff from a bit of credit. Maybe just to say you stole it from someone that actually has more than HALF A GOD DAMN BRAIN CELL!!!!

Ps. Apart from stealing being wrong. Its totally GAY!!!

Cleavage of the week

Its that time of the week again!
The fine lady on exhibit today is the cleavagely well-hung Samantha Steele. I dont who she is or what she does but I appreciate her contribution to humanity.

Wait...she's a porno star. yes.