Deciphering the Male Language.

A good Monday..err Tuesday morning (or whats left of it) to you all.

Before we go on, I just need to say:"Damn I love long weekends." It's da bomb, da shizle...It's mantastic!
Ok, ok. I know things got a little out of hand there, but hey. Who doesn't get a little crazy when they get time off work FOR FREE!?!
But speaking of Mantastic. Read the below post and maybe pass it on to your lady-friend, wife, prostitute or sister. I think it will help with a lot of nasty relationship issues that have become common amung couples. Just call me Dr. Phil - NOT!

So read the post and spread the disease... I mean word!

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated:* "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'STAR WARS', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, ... but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Translated:* "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated:* "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated:* "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated:* "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated:* "I make the messes, she cleans them up."