Snotnose Monday!

Dsa-yom! It's Monday morning, it's raining and I've got a bitchin' cold making it's infectious way through my babbelas ridden body! And much like the little boy in this picture, it's all snot and tears from PhatBoi Central...because to tell you the truth - I don't feel good and I want my mommy!

The fact that I'm listening to Seether's Karma and Effectalbum at the moment seems to be the only thing keeping me alive, that and the two liters of Nescafe I just snorted. Under normal circumstances I would have been so hyper that spontaneous combustion would've been probable. But I'm not that lucky today because like I said:

"It's Monday morning, it's raining and I've got a bitchin' cold..."

This is PhatBoi getting down with the muhfuggin' sickness and signing out.

Phat Female Friday

I haven't done this post in about 2 years. And I wont be doing this post again for a while either. I'm going to Australia. For a holinday. Truth be told I have forgotten what its like to post on the blog. The exhilirating thrill of uploading "risque" (that's French for risky) SFW pictures that are not so SFW (if you know what I'm saying but I dont think anybody really does...) during working hours. There is nothing quiet like the threat of a director walking in on a Phat Female post in the making. The promise of being fired!

And yes I will be in Aus for the next couple of weeks. And no I mostly likely will not post while I'm away.

Enough of that crap! After a super long hiatus Phat Female Friday is back, large and in charge! So enjoy and be kind to children, not too kind of course.

I.T vs. Management

A man in a hot air balloon got lost. He spots a woman below. He descended a bit and shouted:
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 45 degrees north latitude and between 9 and 60 degrees west longitude."


"You must be in IT," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am!" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Who's house? My house.

Yes, it's true.

I'm back from touring Germany.

Ok, straight to business - Selling points:

1. You can buy beer at the petrol stations.
2. Public transport rocks.

As soon as the Gautrain is up and running and I can pick up a sixer of Windhoek at my local Engen, I'm staying put ;)

I have 2 gigs left for the rest of the year (after 40 playing gigs from February - which is a lot for an SA rock act) and maybe 3 CT dates. The rest of the time I'll be spending doing pre-production with my band for our first international release.

And, I have also acquired a new job.. a better job. Take note, GeO. Myself and PBoi are trying to tell you something.

That's it for now.
Here's a picture of a crazy Asian!

It's amazing how many porn links you get when Googling for any phrase containing "Asian".
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Outta here.

Phat Female Friday

I almost forgot to post today's Phat Female. I found this file on my PC. I don't know who this is, I just thought this was a cool picture.

Phatsnatch Office lingo 101

I'm back again (I know it's been a while) to educate the masses...again...

This time around we here at the Phat are aiming to give the average office worker some office "street cred" - if you know what I'm saying knee-grow?

No longer will you be the laughing stock at the water cooler. No longer will you hear undertones of giggles when walking to your lunchbox sized cubicle. You my friend will get the r.e.s.p.e.c.t.e.c.t that you deserve!

Today's Office lingo word is "Coworked"

Repeat after me "Co - Worked" and again "Co - worked". Good.
The meaning of "coworked" is as follows:

When you are doing something at work that is not work-related that requires your full attention, such as playing a video game, and a co-worker suddenly pops in forcing you to make it look as if you are busy and hide your game (such as with alt-tab). After the co-worker leaves, you typically return to your video game to find your character dead.

Joe: Hey man what are you doing? Are you gonna help us capture the flag?
Bob: Sorry I got coworked! Had to alt-tab!

In my case it was the office vegetarian that used to creep up on me to see if I'm actually doing anything productive...Hey! Gaming is productive!...Damn vegetarian asshole...But I guess they're everywhere aren't they...

So till next time kids: Keep it Phat, keep it real and keep it in your pants!

regards
Prof. Phat Boi (PhD - Player Hater Degree)



Office lingo word with compliments of urban dictionary

Phat Female Friday

Big ups to my crazy home-boi for trying to keep the dream alive. PhatBoi, this one is dedicated to you.

It's been a while...

Yip! You guessed it. There's a postman pat movie coming out next year...NOT! But I could just hear you cringe and swear as soon as you read that! Mwhu ha ha ha! Dsa-yom! I'm evil like that.

No. The purpose of this picture is merely to state that I'm as happy at my job as postman pat is doing his black and white cat.

No, that's not it either...This is a picture of GeO taken when he was in the U.K last year. Cute isn't it? He is wearing glasses cos he forgot his contact-lens solution at home and his wearing weird clothes because...well...that's just the way GeO dresses. That and he heard that one can get lots of pussy when dressed in uniform. As you can see in the background it obviously worked for him. Nice going GeO!

What am I trying to say with this post? Nothing really. I just wanted to make fun of GeO's fashion sense for punishment of posting such a kak Phat Phemale Friday...

GeO. This is a good time to learn from your mistakes and move on. It's Karma baby!

Phat Female Friday

So it has come to this. PhatSnatch is a dying blog. 1 post a week. We haven't had any original content for like a month. The end is near. For God's sake, we even missed the opportunity to post on Talk Like A Pirate Day. Ever since PhatBoi started his new job he's been a whole lot happier. Which is bad for PhatSnatch, since our greatest posts have been made during massive fits of rage.

This is an old Jessica Biel spread. I have nothing new to contribute.

Phat Female Friday

I almost didn't post todays Phat Female. I nearly forget about it. I'm feeling lazy so today's post is another contribution thanks to Gorilla Mask. Check out more poor quality scans of April Scott here